Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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