How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Success! We fucked roommates!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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