I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
her facebook's as public as her vagina
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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