I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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