Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
