Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
