never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
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I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
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Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
COCAINE IS GR8
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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