Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
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Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
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