I'm gonna have a badass scar
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
