Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf

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  (650): i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf http://tfl.nu/sowb
  Replies (2) Good night (722) Bad night (1194)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.

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  (618): id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga. http://tfl.nu/30m7
  Replies (37) Good night (2598) Bad night (615)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.

  (1-972): View more from Texas

  I want to be a cop.

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  (972): I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party. (1-972): I want to be a cop. http://tfl.nu/ucz6
  Replies (104) Good night (23837) Bad night (958)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  your address is 607B right?

  (785): View more from Kansas

  yeah why?

  (913): View more from Kansas

  i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it

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  (913): your address is 607B right? (785): yeah why? (913): i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it http://tfl.nu/019d
  Replies (11) Good night (1169) Bad night (4055)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back

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  (732): she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back http://tfl.nu/8662
  Replies (14) Good night (4981) Bad night (1190)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.

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  (201): It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name. http://tfl.nu/d1cf
  Replies (12) Good night (1238) Bad night (4530)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed

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  (713): when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed http://tfl.nu/1ijl
  Replies (13) Good night (5213) Bad night (1349)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.

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  (361): Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck. http://tfl.nu/rgty
  Replies (18) Good night (1553) Bad night (2059)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.

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  (972): he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever. http://tfl.nu/boyq
  Replies (21) Good night (5781) Bad night (1520)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.

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  (601): Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question. http://tfl.nu/eb7h
  Replies (5) Good night (2063) Bad night (481)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.

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  (318): Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun. http://tfl.nu/0u88
  Replies (7) Good night (527) Bad night (1284)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now

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  (917): idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now http://tfl.nu/ruxc
  Replies (3) Good night (694) Bad night (1194)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.

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  (325): So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it. http://tfl.nu/zi6y
  Replies (6) Good night (1125) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Daily.

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  (702): Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision (970): Daily. http://tfl.nu/0fgj
  Replies (0) Good night (538) Bad night (272)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding

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  (916): I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding http://tfl.nu/cejl
  Replies (3) Good night (940) Bad night (252)

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