she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!