question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
