No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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