all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
