yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
