I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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