I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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