He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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