I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
