Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
