I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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