i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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