I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Randomize
