He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
