I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Randomize
