we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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