That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
