Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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