"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
