Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
