I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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