Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
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