At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
