Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
