discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We left the knife in your bed.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
NoShamevember. You game?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
