I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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