weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize
