so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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