Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
