Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
