I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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