Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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