I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
