sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
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Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
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She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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