nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
