Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
