Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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