you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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