bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
