It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
