I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize