cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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