Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
so let's talk penis.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
3pm strippers are depressing
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
