i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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