I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
