help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
