covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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