weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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