I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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