im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Randomize