he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I lost the right to judge tonight
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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