Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
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