When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
