I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
