im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Drunk is a universal language darling
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
