also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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