$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
